Not Very Effective
by shinobu senpai
Summary: In which Ash is the snarky, extremely overpowered Kanto Champion fleeing from his duties and Dawn is the sweet, idealistic girl with tsundere tendencies. From Ash's pitiful attempts at gathering a harem to saving the Pokemon world from evil organizations, follow their travels through Sinnoh and beyond. Warning: AU, Cursing, OOCness. Other characters will come. Possible Harem.
1. The Beginning

**UPDATED: 1/6/2017**

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**Yo, what's up guys? I'm a new author just trying out writing and stuff. So, before we start, I'm just gonna clear a few things up:**

**1) Ash = super overpowered, arrogant, snark-filled magnificent bastard. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but he's not the standard run-of-the-mill Ash Ketchum. Dawn is sweet, yes, but it's hard for the sweetness to come out in Ash's presence.**

**2) There will be copious amounts of cursing.**

**3) Gen VII pokemon and concepts will all be incorporated (so yes Z-Moves and Mega Evolutions), while conventional battling/game mechanics will be simultaneously respected and thrown out of the window.**

**4) Though set in Sinnoh, characters and pokemon from other regions (from the games and anime) will be shamelessly incorporated into the story.**

**5) Just on the note of characters in general, many of them will contain OOC aspects****. I completely understand that not everyone will enjoy my characterizations and that is fine, but I want to make the presence of OOCness perfectly clear.**

**This is not a story meant to be taken super seriously. I wanted to have a story that is enjoyable to write and enjoyable to read.**

**At the start Ash'll have around ten pokemon, and you'll see who they are. I'm not sure if he should have a harem, so I'll see what you guys think.**

**Enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**_

* * *

In which Ash is the snarky, extremely overpowered Kanto Champion fleeing from his duties and Dawn is the sweet, idealistic girl with tsundere tendencies. From Ash's pitiful attempts at gathering a harem to saving the Pokemon world from evil organizations, follow their travels through Sinnoh and beyond. Warning: AU, Cursing, OOCness. Other characters will come. Possible Harem.

* * *

**ARC I: Awkward Beginnings, But That's Okay**

* * *

Not Very Effective

**The Beginning**

* * *

"_There you have it, folks! Our mysterious challenger just demolished all four members of the Elite Four using just a Pikachu! A _Pikachu_!"_

Lance's palms were sweating. He'd never been this nervous for a battle _ever _in his life, even when he squared off against Cynthia in the Master's tournament a while back. But after watching a teenager who didn't even look old enough to _drive _yet smash through Kanto's Elite Four with a Pikachu seemingly on roids, Lance was willing to admit that he was about to be in for the fight of his life.

He stepped into the battlezone. Craters littered the floor and the remnants of a beautiful struggle was spilled out right before him. Lance saw that kid's Pikachu thunderbolt to death so many pokemon in one blast that he was seriously doubting why he himself had a team full of flying types. At least Dragonite's dragon-typing nullified electric type attacks, so it wasn't super effective. And he had three of those things, so if worse comes to worse Lance would spam the dragons.

But Lance was the champion of Kanto. He heard the screams in the air, the massive cheering, and the absolute devotion of his fans. They _knew _he would win. He _would _win.

"Go, Dragonite!"

His beast appeared in a brilliant flash of white light, roaring like the dragon it was. It flapped its beautiful, broad wings and took to the sky, shaking the ground with its earth-shattering cry. The crowd cheered. Lance felt hope surge within him. This Dragonite was his pride, his joy. He'd spent years raising his dragons to absolute perfection; every inch of it was pure, veiny muscle, with years of experience told by scars on marred skin—

There was a flash of lightning, and a crack of thunder. Lance was blinded. The air around his was ringing like bells, and a wave of concussive force hit his body.

"—_absolutely amazing! Incredible! What a shot! What a bolt! Lance's Dragonite—"_

"Haaah?" Lance slurred, standing up. He subconsciously wiped dirt off of his cape. When did he fall down? Was something cooking? Something definitely smelled like it was cooking—

…

…

His eyes focused in on the sizzling body of his most powerful (and unconscious) pokemon.

…

…

Lance felt a tear roll down his face.

* * *

Dawn rode her bicycle from Professor Rowan's lab. A new, shiny pokeball hung from her belt, containing her new best friend Piplup. Finally, after fifteen years of being alive, Dawn would finally be able to find her place in the world of pokemon.

The sun was radiant in the cloudless sky. It was a welcome change in the usually frigid temperatures of a Sinnoh fall. The Staravia were chirping their melodies, and Dawn hummed along contentedly. The route between Jubilife and Sandgem town was foresty and devoid of human life save for a few newbie trainers like herself, so it was very relaxing for her. With the wind in her hair and a bright path ahead of her, Dawn could finally—

"_WATCH OUT!"_

Something huge crashed into her bicycle and the world spun like a top, sending Dawn sprawling into a conveniently-placed patch of soft grass. She was up immediately, ignoring how the ground spinned underneath her, and instead Dawn focused on the carnage in front of her, saying the only logical thing one would say in this situation: "_What the fuck?!"_

Dawn saw three things: one, her precious, expensive bicycle smashed to bits, two, a trainer and his Charizard sheepishly looking at her, and three, _her fucking precious and expensive bicycle smashed to bits._

"Sorry?" the boy offered, fiddling with his league hat. "'bout the bike I mean. And you know, smashing it. My bad."

Dawn blinked at him, completely at a loss of words. His Charizard bit one of its wheels and crunched the metal to bits like it was cheese before spitting it out in disgust.

"Pay," she muttered under her breath.

The boy stared at her. "What?" He hopped off the back of his pokemon and stopped when he was a few feet in front of her. "Sorry, didn't hear that."

Dawn said it louder this time. "Pay."

She saw a bead of sweat slide down the side of his face. "How much?"

"42,000 poke bucks."

He tried to bolt. Dawn caught him by the collar and effortlessly threw him to the ground. The trainer released a cute, half-squeal half-grunt sound and attempted to roll away, but Dawn simply sat on him and locked him in place with her knees.

"Pay up," was all she said.

He glared defiantly into her eyes, eyes blazing red, and retorted, "I don't have any money."

"Then find some way to pay."

The boy blinked at her and lowered his eyes, the color of his face slowly turning into the shade of his pokemon's skin (said pokemon merely watched, amused by his master's predicament). "Okay," he whispered, almost submissively, and then he stared softly into her eyes. "Please be gentle."

"What?" Dawn growled, tightening the space between her knees and grabbing his shirt with her hands.

He grinned, a sly, almost predatory curve of his lips. "You want me to pay you, right? I'll pay you using my body." He paused for a moment to relish Dawn's astonished expression. "Please be gentle."

Dawn immediately realized the innuendo and jumped off of him, pointing an accusing finger at the boy. "Wh-Wh-Whaaat?!"

"Now, now," he stood up leisurely, brushing the grass off of his cargo pants, "is it really that bad of an idea?"

That comment caught her off guard and that predatory grin reappeared. Dawn felt trapped, as if she were prey and he was a hunter, and she was completely fooled by his earlier act of being submissive. "You wanted me to pay you back, right? I don't have cash on me now, but if you'd be so kind as to let me accompany you to the nearest city, I can make a withdrawal from the bank. Then we'll part ways. How does that sound?"

Dawn was hesitant. Jubilife was a fairly long journey without traveling by bike, and his Charizard, as massive and powerful as it looked, didn't look like it could comfortably fit both him and Dawn.

Plus, she only had an untrained Piplup and he had five pokeballs on his belt and one chained around his neck. If the other pokemon he had were as strong as his Charizard looked, she would actually be traveling with a capable trainer. Dawn decided to take his offer, but there was no way that she was going to admit that to him in a straightforward manner.

"I don't know anything about you," she huffed. "Why should I trust you?"

"True, you don't," he admitted. "And if I were you I definitely wouldn't trust me. Hell, I could be some sort of kidnapper or gang member."

"You're not being reassuring," Dawn cut in. The Charizard next to them growled.

"Fine," the trainer said, squaring his shoulders. "I'll be honest. I'm new to this region. Judging by all the snow I saw on my way over, I'd say that I'm in Sinnoh, and I need a native."

He looked her up and Dawn before focusing on the solo pokeball on her belt. "You look like a newbie and you're probably in need of someone to teach you. So why don't we help each other out, at least until I can pay you back for the bike?"

"Maybe," the girl conceded, "but only on two conditions."

"Name 'em."

Dawn smiled at him. "One, promise me that you'll stay with me until you get me that bike."

"Done," he said without a second thought.

"Two, you tell me your name."

"My name?" He returned her smile, scarlet eyes meeting her sapphire ones. "My name's Ash Ketchum. And I'm a Pokemon Master."

* * *

**And that's a wrap! Tell me if you guys liked it or not, and be sure to favorite and follow. Future chapters will be longer than this, I promise.**

**Thanks!**


	2. Challenger Approaching

**UPDATED: 1/6/2017**

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**Thanks for all the feedback guys! Sorry if there are any errors, I wrote this in one long sitting and I wanted to get it out to you ladies and gentlemen.**

* * *

In which Ash is the snarky, extremely overpowered Kanto Champion fleeing from his duties and Dawn is the sweet, idealistic girl with tsundere tendencies. From Ash's pitiful attempts at gathering a harem to saving the Pokemon world from evil organizations, follow their travels through Sinnoh and beyond. Warning: AU, Cursing, OOCness. Other characters will come. Possible Harem.

* * *

**ARC I: Awkward Beginnings, But That's Okay**

* * *

Not Very Effective

**Challenger Approaching**

* * *

"_My name's Ash Ketchum. And I'm a Pokemon Master."_

Dawn gaped at Ash and his declaration. Even Cynthia didn't dare call herself that; Ash was either extremely overconfident or a fool. From what Dawn had seen, he was possibly both. But he had said it with such confidence, as if it was a plain truth that everyone should have known already.

"Right…" she settled for, her tone only _slightly _unbelieving, "whatever you say."

"Oi," Ash called, crossing his arms, "don't doubt me. I'm a Pokemon Master. Right, Char?" His pokemon growled slightly, sending a puff of flame at its trainer. Ash dodged the fire smoothly, as if he'd done it a million times, and the little stream hit a nearby bush and set it completely aflame. Dawn could feel her skin blister from the heat of the fire and backed away, but Ash just laughed good-naturedly and pulled out a pokeball. "Don't be jealous 'cause Pikachu got all the fame. This region has a league too, you know. If you're nice maybe I'll send you in first."

The pokemon glared at him defiantly as it was sucked back into the ball with a beam of red light. Ash clicked the button on one of the pokeballs hooked to his belt and a cute little Pikachu popped out, and Dawn mentally cooed at the sight of the adorable pokemon—she'd never seen one before outside of TV. She wanted to hug it _so bad_.

"This is Pikachu," he said, letting his partner climb onto his hat, "and here, this is…"

"Dawn," she completed for him. "Dawn Berlitz." The pokemon greeted her with its endearing little pokespeak, and she waved at it in return.

"Dawn," Ash said, liking the way her name sounded on his lips, "Dawn… what are your goals as a trainer?"

"Well," she started unsurely, biting her lower lip, "my mom wanted me to be a Top Coordinator like her, so I… guess I'll follow in her footsteps."

Dawn received a blank stare from Ash and his Pikachu.

A few moments passed.

"You have no idea what coordinating is, don't you?"

"Nope."

The girl repressed the urge to pull off her beanie and shove it down Ash's throat. "Of course you wouldn't," she snapped, "you're an idiot after all."

"_Hey!_" he cried indignantly, "We never had any of this 'coordinating' in Kanto! Everything was about tournaments, tournaments, _more tournaments—_" Ash paused and stared at her, eyes wide as if he was afraid that he had revealed something. "What's coordinating anyways?"

Dawn rolled her eyes at him. "I'll explain it to you on the way to Jubilife." She stared at something behind Ash, and as an afterthought, she added, "By the way, you're on fire."

Ash looked down at his pants, where a small flame was coming to life, and then he looked behind him, where a good portion of the forest had already burned down from his Charizard's Ember.

"Oh. I am on fire." He noted calmly, snuffing the flame out with a gloved hand. "We gotta do something about that." His hands gestured at the burning forest.

"I have a water-type," Dawn offered, pulling out her pokeball. As she was releasing her Piplup, she asked Ash how he was so nonchalant about being on fire. He told her that, as a Charizard's trainer, this sort of stuff happened all of the time.

It shamed her to admit this, even to herself, but she wanted to get some sort of panicked reaction out of Ash. Or any reaction at all besides that shit-eating grin of his.

Her penguin pokemon chirped happily when it saw its trainer, waddling affectionately to Dawn's side and giving her a little hug. After petting it on the head, Dawn looked at Ash. "Kanto, was it? Would you know this one?"

Ash answered immediately. "Piplup, the penguin pokemon, number 393 on the National Pokedex. Water type. Evolves into Prinplup and then Empoleon, gains a steel typing when it evolves into the latter"—Ash paused for a second to catch his breath—"Pretty high special attack but not that fast. It could be pretty monstrous if you taught it well and got it to learn a Surf/Hydro Pump mix move. I prefer Blastoise, but hey, not that bad."

Dawn's eye twitched. "You know all of that but not about coordinating?"

"Oh yea," the boy replied simply. "Name a random 'dex number, I'll give you that Pokemon's name, its evolutions, its weaknesses, stats, and maybe even possible strategies."

"186." Dawn did not believe him.

"Politoed, evolves from Poliwhirl when with a King's Rock. A water type. Final form of Poliwag, cousin to Poliwrath. Pretty high health, but not that much else going for it."

Her teeth gnashed against each other. "302."

"Sableye, no evolutions but can potentially mega-evolve. Ghost and dark type, only weak to fairy. I squared off against one of these in the Indigo League, and they've got decently high attacks and defenses. Too bad Pikachu just obliterated it with Thunderbolt."

_Arceus_, Dawn thought internally. A random number jumped into her head. "946."

"We don't have a 946th entry yet." Ash tilted his head and cast a side glance at Dawn. "Not that you'd know whether or not I'm telling the truth. I may have bullshitted my way through all of these."

"Shut up," she snapped, surprising both Ash and herself. "Piplup, put out the fire."

The fire had been burning as Dawn and Ash conversed over the Pokedex entries and Ash's seemingly unlimited knowledge upon them. She couldn't believe how he'd practically memorized the Pokedex—_I am not admitting he is impressive_, she told herself—but didn't even know something like coordinating, something that had spread throughout basically all of the regions.

The fire was actually quite pretty; the way the leaves turned to blackened dust and how smoke rose in pillars all had a sort of unreal quality to it. It was warm, and the crackling of burning brush was rather soothing. Dawn would write a poem about it if she were eloquent enough.

"Daaawn," Ash drawled, waving a hand in front of her face. "Stop staring at the fire like that. You're creepy."

The girl snapped out of her thoughts, and heat completely unrelated to the fire shot up her face. "I'm creepy? Says the guy who _offered his body for sex_ in order to pay for a bicycle."

"Yeah, but I was offering my body to someone I wouldn't mind doing it with," he replied with that aggravating smile of his, "while _you _are staring at a burning forest with drool coming out of your mouth, you pyromaniac."

Her water-type blew a Bubblebeam at the small inferno. The small torrent of water was enough to put out a portion of the flames, as the plants in Sinnoh always had a fair amount of moisture in them. With some extra effort, her pokemon eventually put out the fire, and the remaining smoke turned and hissed into white steam.

But Dawn didn't notice any of that. _I was offering my body to someone I wouldn't mind doing it with_. The words ran on repeat over and over again in her head. What did he mean… could he… could he have meant…

Dawn's automatic protective instincts flared up, as any prey's instincts would when encountering a predator. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Her face, while burning up before, was about the same shade as the fire Piplup had just put out.

The boy raised an eyebrow and whistled. Even his Pikachu let out a cute _pika! _laugh. "Once is enough, you know."

Dawn glared at the ground and let out an aggravated cross between a growl and a sigh. "Let's go to Jubilife."

"I'm down," he said. "What's Jubilife?"

"_Fucking Arceus._"

* * *

"_Good afternoon Kanto! It's a beautiful day out today."_

"_Indeed it is. But today's big story isn't about the weather, ladies and gentlemen. Today's big story is the buzz of the entire region—the disappearance of our mysterious champion!"_

"_Yes! Everybody in this region can't stop talking about how the enigmatic trainer just waltzed right in and demolished the Indigo Conference and decided to take on the Elite Four and Champion Lance at the same time. With only a Pikachu!"_

"_Nobody's seen anything quite like it. This type of one handed punishment delivered by a trainer who, believe it or not, is only _sixteen _is completely unheard of in this level of competition."_

"_While we're talking about our mysterious friend, I would like to share the information that the name that he was using, _Red_, is merely an alias, though I'm not sure why he'd be so hesitant to share his true name."_

"_And what we, and I speak on behalf of everybody in Kanto, are completely unsure about is why he had just left after defeating Lance!"_

"_That was completely unforeseeable! He defeated Lance's final Dragonite and throws down a pokeball, out pops a massive beast of a Charizard, and then he just flies away! Outrageous!"_

"_Why would he do such a thing?"_

"_Plot convenience, perhaps?"_

"_Don't be ridiculous, Thomas. Everybody has reasons for something. Some are just… different than others."_

"_Of course. But one thing that I am sure about is how the entire region is wondering this one question—where are you?"_

* * *

After a few hours of attempting to discern some personal information form Ash and failing pitifully in some aspects, Dawn noticed the steel towers of Jubilife City popping up over the horizon. Nearing their final destination, Dawn allowed her pace to slow to try and give her aching legs a break.

"You know, you look like a sweet girl," he said casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Dawn stopped walking, but he didn't notice and continued. "You look delicate, with your size and cute face and whatnot."

Her face flared up and she lowered her gaze, pulling her beanie down to her nose and over her eyes so that Ash couldn't see her blushing if he turned around. "But you're not delicate, aren't you? From what I'm able to tell, you have fire in you, you have drive and passion. Or, if I'm wrong, at the very least you're stubborn, if your constant questioning is any indication," he laughed.

He stopped but did not turn around. His voice took on a strange tone, far from his usual light hearted banter. "That's good for a pokemon trainer. Everybody loses at some point, but not everyone takes it the same. Some bounce back and take it as a lesson. They grow stronger. Some clam up and take it badly. They grow weaker. Being a pokemon trainer takes a lot of things, but being resilient is one of the more important ones."

Dawn raised her beanie back over her head and caught up to Ash. "Nice lesson there, sensei," she said, more honest than mocking. "I'll try to be resilient. But how do you take a loss?"

Ash sent her one of his side glances and then looked back forward towards the road. His tone lowered. "I've never lost."

"Oh, as if," she snarked, putting her hands on her hips. "You just said everybody loses at some point. Don't be a hypocrite."

"I have lost," he returned, still in that low, brooding tone, "just not a battle. Sometimes we can win a battle but lose something much more important." His Pikachu cooed softly and seemed to try and hug its trainer's shoulder.

Dawn stayed silent, unwilling and unable to conjure up a response to that. _What am I supposed to make of this? _she asked him silently_. Don't act like an idiot and then say things like that… I might… I might…_

Her pokeball bounced on her belt, and she was reminded of something she wanted to ask him. Any sort of subject change would be welcome at this point. "What type of Pokemon do you have?"

Ash stopped and that dangerous smirk reappeared on his face again. His voice sounded as if he was never feeling off in the first place. "Wanna see my pokeballs?"

Ah. There was the Ash she had met just hours ago. "Don't make it sound that lewd, please."

"Alright, alright." The two started walking again and Ash gestured towards his Pikachu and the pokeball chained around his neck. "This is Pikachu. You already know him. Call him whatever you like, and he's highly addicted to ketchup." Pikachu growled at him. "You've seen Charizard, and I think I mentioned Blastoise once. I have one, by the way. And a Venusaur, too. They're all the strongest of their kind."

"Really repping those Kanto starters," Dawn murmured, completely ignoring his boast.

He heard her and shot her two thumbs up. "Definitely. Then I've got a fatass Snorlax that could eat an Onix if it really wanted to and could probably sleep through a rampaging Gyarados attacking it. And after that, I've got few others in the PC, and besides that…"

Ash paused, and she saw him tap the odd, purple pokeball hanging from his neck. When he noticed her looking at it, Ash tucked it away into his jacket. "The last one's a secret," he told her, shrugging, "sorry."

Dawn gave him a suspicious look but decided to let it slide. Instead she brought up something else that was slightly bugging her. "Your Charizard doesn't look normal."

He fired back almost immediately. "Dark blue hair doesn't look normal."

Ash must've sensed the extremely dangerous vibe Dawn was giving off, because he immediately added, "It doesn't look normal, sure, but on some people it looks rather pretty."

"Shut up," Dawn snapped before realising it. Oh dear, it had become an automatic defense mechanism. "It's a legitimate question. Why does your Charizard look different from the others?"

"It's permanently mega-evolved," Ash answered easily, as if what he was stating was the simplest thing in the world and not a completely improbable suggestion.

"You can't expect me to believe something impossible like that."

"Believe whatever you want" Ash told her, "but let me ask some of _my _legitimate questions. You only have one pokemon and that's a Sinnoh starter. When did you start your journey?"

"Earlier today, and already I'm running into complications," she glowered at Ash. Then, Dawn shifted her gaze towards the setting sun barely peeking out over the tips of the trees. The sky was a beautiful shade of fire. "But I worked for a really long time as Professor Rowan's lab assistant, so I've got a better start than most. I captured most of his wild pokemon for him, and he offered me to keep some of them but I declined."

Ash nodded. "The Piplup, then?"

"Piplup's a new starter," Dawn gently tapped her fingertips against Piplup's pokeball. "I wanted one of the Sinnoh starters. And it's just _so cute_." She caught herself before she started ranting about her Piplup's cuteness. "So I'm not exactly a beginner when it comes to Pokemon."

"You are when it comes to battling and coordinating though, right?"

Dawn frowned. "Yeah, I guess. I've watched it before on TV, but I don't have any experience with it."

"That's fine," Ash stated, a dangerously enthusiastic tone overtaking his voice, "we'll just battle the next kid we see!"

She stared incredulously at him. "What?!"

"You need experience," he grinned, his eyes glowing like fire, "_YOU THERE!_"

Dawn jumped at Ash's sudden outburst and looked forward. There was a person in front of them that appeared just as startled as she was, and Ash jogged forward to greet him. Grumbling under her breath—_what the hell are you doing, Ash—_Dawn caught up to him and shriveled up under the glare that the other person was giving them.

"Let's battle."

"I'm sorry, but who _are _you?"

The person had strange, light purple hair (as if Dawn was one to talk; she had blue hair after all) and narrow, judgmental eyes. Perhaps he would've been decently attractive if he wasn't too busy looking like an asshole all the time. And this guy wasn't even nearly as attractive as Ash was—_HAAAH!?_

She choked on thin air and suddenly had a coughing fit. _NO BRAIN, STOP IT! _she screamed at herself, clutching her hair. Ash gave her an odd look, and Dawn wished that she was a pokemon so that she would be able to escape into a pokeball.

"Right…" he turned back towards the random kid, "ignore Dawn, she's pretty creepy. I'm Ash, and you are…?"

"Fucking leavin', that's what," the other trainer snapped, flipping his hair like a glorified douchebag.

"Aw, come on," Ash prodded. "A good old fashioned 2 vs. 2 never hurt anyone."

Trainer Douchebag sniffed disdainfully. "I don't have time to battle weaklings like you or your Pikachu."

Dawn heard something audibly snap beside her.

"I'm sorry," the capped trainer said sweetly—well, sweetly was the wrong word for this, it was more like: with venomous intent frothing at his mouth and pouring down in torrents, "I didn't hear what you said."

"I said," the oblivious purple-haired trainer repeated, "I don't have time to battle weaklings like you or your Pikachu."

Dawn looked at Ash and nearly pissed her pants (well, skirt, considering her attire at the moment). Half of Ash's face was obscured by the shadow created by his hat, and from that shadow, two bright, vicious-looking red irises shone through like some sort of demonic after-effect. His typical predatory grin morphed into something far more sinister and demented, the entire look basically saying _I'm going to slit your throat with a rusty blade and drown you in your own blood. _Even Trainer Asshole down yonder sensed some of the hostility given off by Ash and took a step back.

And Pikachu… well, Pikachu was still cute, even when it looked absolutely livid. Dawn still wanted to hug it.

"Listen here you little shit," Ash snarled, arms flexing as if he was struggling to keep them from strangling the other trainer—

"My name is Paul," said Paul, trying to sound tough.

"I don't give a fuck what your name is. We're going to battle." His voice was as hard as steel, and his glare could've burned a hole through Paul's head. It seemed as if Ash had completely changed into someone else, from a sort of flippant, careless attitude to a completely hard and serious one.

Ash took a deep breath and the Pikachu beside him mimicked its trainer's action. "Come on, Dawn." Without waiting for a response, Ash walked off to a clearing on the side of the main route. Dawn, after taking a quick glance at Paul's hilariously and ironically shaken look, followed him and unclipped Piplup's pokeball.

"You got a bit mad there," she observed.

Pikachu answered for Ash with a _Pika Pi!_ and the trainer remained strangely silent, jaw set and eyes blazing. "Dawn, I'm going to ask you to stay out of this one."

His voice indicated that it wasn't a request, so Dawn put Piplup's pokeball back on her belt. The air around Ash had instantly turned frigid, but it was hot and fiery at the same time. She felt her palms grow clammy just looking at him. There was a sort of quality about him that made it seem like he wasn't worrying about whether or not he'd win or lose, instead, Ash was thinking about how he'd make his opponent _suffer_, especially with the dark look on his face. With his tight, clenched jaw, narrowed eyes, and aura of intensity, Ash dimly reminded her of someone...

Paul had showed up a fair distance away from them on the opposite side of the clearing. Dawn could see the sweat on his body from here. Hopefully, he'd take a shower after this. Not that she blamed him, really, Dawn would never want to square off against _this_ Ash in a pokemon battle.

"I'm sending out Pikachu," Ash told him, and the electric mouse gently padded along the ground and into battle position. "Send out as many pokemon as you want. You would never win anyways."

Paul had the gall to scoff at Ash's statement and held up a pokeball. "As if. Standby for battle, Electivire!" After a brief flash of light, a massive, hulking humanoid creature appeared. It had bright yellow fur just like Pikachu's with two large antennae and black patterns etched across its fur. Bright red eyes peered out from a band of black fur, and it held a manic grin on its face like a creepy pedophilic stalker would have. "Electivire, show them what true power is! Use—"

Ash squared his shoulders and lowered his cap. He uttered a single word. "_Thunderstorm_."

Dawn went blind and her eardrums exploded—or at least that was how it felt at that moment. The concussive force behind the attack knocked her onto her butt and she lost all feeling in her body. The sky exploded into a brilliant flash of color and a concoction of sound like a thousand nuclear warheads going off at once, and massive, intense heat arced from the heavens. Even with her eyes steadily shut, Dawn could only see a dull, blurred white and her ears were ringing so hard that she wasn't able to hear her own thoughts.

But holy hell that hurt. The air sizzled with electricity and Dawn could feel the hair on her body all stand up, and even as the light slowly faded away and her ears stopped ringing, Dawn would forever remember the raw brutality and power behind that attack and that the cute-looking Pikachu was not to be fucked around with. That little dude could fuck someone up.

Dawn opened her eyes and the image she saw forever imprinted itself into her mind. The sky, a magnificent myriad of colors created by the setting sun, was filled with columns of smoke. The trees around them burned where the lightning had struck it, and the ground was seared black from the massive amount of electricity. Electivire was knocked out, but, miraculously, it didn't seem to be seriously hurt. Paul was just staring at Ash with his mouth completely slack, looking like a complete fool.

And Ash… she'd never ever thought that the cheeky kid she met just hours ago could ever look like _this_. With the fire from the burning trees and sky reflected into his red irises, Ash looked like the penultimate definition of passionate fury. Ash was like fire, no, he _was _fire, warm and welcoming and furious and raging all at once, and Dawn drank in the sight of the fire in his eyes until she was drunk from it. To her, fire had always been so beautiful, and she had always liked it…

She remembered who Ash reminded her of. Ash reminded her of Lance and Cynthia and Wallace and Adler and Diane, of people who held the utmost confidence in their pokemon and their ability to win. He reminded her of a champion, the pinnacle of all trainers, the one others strive to become.

But then Ash looked at her and smirked. "That was fucking beast, right? Tell me that that was amazing. It's fine, I know it was."

Her newfound image of him shattered in one moment.

* * *

**Hey guys! Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited and reviewed, I appreciate all of you guys and gals! I hope you liked my characterization of Ash, Dawn, and Paul, and don't worry, more characters will appear. Leave me a review to tell me what you all think.**

**The plot'll begin picking up in a few chapters or so. Don't worry y'all, your favorite characters will appear. If you want a specific character in this story, tell me in a review or PM so I can get a rough idea of the favorites.**

**Thanks! **


	3. Clowning Around

**Thanks for the 100+ favorite and follows! I cranked this out in a sitting, so expect future updates to be a bit swifter :)  
**

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In which Ash is the snarky, extremely overpowered Kanto Champion fleeing from his duties and Dawn is the sweet, idealistic girl with tsundere tendencies. From Ash's pitiful attempts at gathering a harem to saving the Pokemon world from evil organizations, follow their travels through Sinnoh and beyond. Warning: AU, Cursing, OOCness. Other characters will come. Possible Harem.

* * *

**ARC I: Awkward Beginnings, But That's Okay**

* * *

Not Very Effective

**Clowning Around**

* * *

… _oh, come on._

_It could be worse. I mean, at least I'm not balding or anything._

Lance hurriedly adjusted his hair in the mirror as he waited for his guest to arrive. Ever since the previously unknown trainer, Red, decided to annihilate the Elite Four and fly off immediately after, Lance had to deal with an absolute _shitstorm_ of things ranging from alleviating the constant questioning from the media at large and mobilizing League Trainers in an effort to track down the runaway champion.

As a result, Lance's body suffered—or, more accurately, his beautiful and luscious hair was beginning to fade into a distinct white color. It was absolutely ridiculous considering the fact that Lance was just forty years old, but just a few days of omnipresent pressure acutely sped up the aging process on his body. The obvious, black bags under his eyes even made him look like a Pancham, for Arceus's sake.

A light tapping came from the door. With a disgruntled voice, as if even talking was viciously painful, Lance murmured, "Come in, professor."

Professor Oak came in and his eyes widened.

Lance blinked at him.

"Lance, ol' champ, you're going to look older than I do now if this keeps up."

In an agonized tone, Lance slammed his hands on the table before him and covered up his face. "_I know! _It's awful! I think I'm going to go insane… even the Rocket incident wasn't as bad as this."

The old man frowned and spoke fluidly. "I think you're worrying a bit too much about this. I mean, this Red character never accepted the title of Champion, so you're technically still Kanto's champion. At most, the public has an intense interest in this young man, and furthermore, the only legitimate problem that you or the Elite Four would have to deal with is the issue on how to respond to the interviewers and all the questions people have about him."

Oak paused for a moment to catch his breath and survey Lance's reaction. His analytical eye passed over the multitude of documents that were on his desk and scattered on the floor, taking notice of the official dispatchment of Kanto League Trainers to various regions.

"Ah. It's a pride thing, isn't it?"

Lance sighed. "It's a pride thing."

Oak walked up to Lance's desk and patted the man on his shoulder. "It's alright. No matter what happens, we ought to bounce back from defeat. Everyone loses at some point."

_Except for him_, a tiny voice rectified in Oak's mind. The image of a boy with piercing red eyes briefly entered his thoughts.

However, Oak's words failed to get to Lance. The old professor knew that, due to Lance's extreme competitiveness and his own shattered confidence, the champion's angst would probably never rest until he found Red again and defeated him.

"Well, I have some good news at least," Professor Oak said. "Someone, earlier today, found me at the lab and told me that she knew about Red's identity and also his location."

Instantly, the fire returned to Lance's eyes as he leapt up and tightly gripped the professor's lab coat. "Who? Where? Bring them in immediately!"

"Relax," the professor ordered, and Lance immediately let go after realizing that he probably looked like a spoiled brat asking for candy. "She's in Pallet Town right now. I'm going to return tomorrow with her, and by then, you will have contacted the other members of the Elite Four and the champions of the other regions, alright?"

Lance nodded shortly, but it was obvious where his mind really was. "Who is she? Do you think that she's telling the truth?"

Oak, halfway out the door, merely shrugged.

"Apparently, she's someone that used to travel with him in Kalos."

* * *

Dawn watched in amazement as Ash wolfed down sandwich after sandwich in front of her. It was very possible that the inside of the boy's stomach was, in reality, a black hole.

Then she stared at her dinner suspiciously. There was a chance that Ash had managed to sneak some sort of knock-out drug into her pasta. _But, to hell with it_, Dawn thought. She chewed through her pasta slowly, enjoying the taste of a good meal. She was far too hungry to care about something as far-fetched as that.

As she ate, Dawn felt a pair of eyes watching her, so she glanced up to meet Ash's gaze. She was a bit embarrassed at being watched so intensely, but luckily for her, Ash suddenly began to talk.

"I'll pay for dinner. Hopefully they take credit cards," he said simply, motioning for the waiter to get him another sandwich.

"Oh," Dawn mumbled. "It's fine, I can pay for my own—"

"Stop it. This meal's on me," Ash interrupted. "What type of guy would I be if I couldn't even pay for dinner?"

Unable to maintain eye contact, Dawn stared down at her pasta and bit her lip. "… thanks."

When she looked back up at Ash, the trainer had a pleased expression on his face. "Plus, it's Ketchum policy to always pay for a beautiful girl on a dinner date~"

"Shut up. If you're this lenient with your money, then pay me back for the bike."

"Oh? _Daaaaawn_, your face is almost as red as the sauce in your pasta," he teased, completely ignoring the latter half of her comment.

"'s not," Dawn tried denying. "The pasta's really spicy, that's all."

Leaning forward and stealing Dawn's fork, Ash gulped down a bit of her dinner. The smirk that broke out on his face after tasting her plain, non-spicy pasta was evidence that he had completely seen through her words.

Her hand twitched, and Dawn was barely able to stop herself from splashing him with her ice water.

"That's my fork, you know," she said in an attempt to take control of the conversation, snagging the utensil away from the other trainer.

Ash made a great show of fidgeting in his seat, and as he squirmed, he said shyly, "I-I see. You were eating from that… right? Then, does that mean we just…"

_Don't you say it, you bastard. _Dawn's narrowed eyes tried to convey him that message.

He twiddled his index fingers and sighed dreamily. "We just had an indirect kiss?!"

"Fuck off."

"Harsh," Ash frowned, but by this point Dawn could tell that the other trainer was thoroughly enjoying himself. Then he laughed, "But that's the first step, Dawn. A fateful encounter, an indirect kiss, flags are popping up left and right!"

Dawn stared at him.

"Pikachu, I'm sorry that you have a crazy person as your trainer."

The pokemon cooed in response, allowing Dawn to gently rub his cute cheeks with her knuckles. After that, Pikachu sat on the table, leaning against the wall. His small hands managed to cup a bottle of ketchup and pop the lid off, promptly chugging the entire bottle in one sip like a world-class drinker.

Discarding the empty bottle, Pikachu let loose a pleased, yet slurred _pikaaaaaaaaa_. With an almost dazed expression, the pokemon happily accepted a second bottle of ketchup when Ash handed it to him.

Dawn sweatdropped. Did Ash's Pikachu just get… drunk, for a lack of a better word, off of _ketchup? _And was Ash contributing, even encouraging, those alcoholic/ketchupaholic tendencies? He did mention, in Pikachu's introduction, that the little pokemon was addicted, but this was on another level. As Dawn pondered over whether or not she should be concerned for the vast amounts of ketchup the pokemon was drinking, Ash received and tore into his next sandwich.

After swallowing a mouthful of food, Ash sighed contentedly, "_Maaan_ is it good to eat again! Haven't had a proper meal in days."

"... I never thought to ask until now, but what were you doing when you crashed into me like an absolute moron?" Dawn asked bluntly, though she was actually a bit curious to the boy's answer.

"Was the _like an absolute moron _part necessary?" he returned. "I'd feel more obligated to answer you if you sounded a bit nicer."

Dawn remained silent, staring him down. Obvious mirth danced around in the other trainer's eyes, and a slight, roguish smile further augmented that sense of amusement.

"May I please ask, if I am allowed to do so, what circumstances plagued you when you unfortunately and forcibly separated my body from my vehicular device?"

Ash let loose a full on smile and leaned back in his seat. "I just decided to go on a new adventure, that's all. We'd been flying for a few days, so we pretty much just crashed the moment when we saw land. Even then—"

"Hold on a sec," Dawn interrupted, holding up her hand. "You're from Kanto, correct? I mean, I'd assume so since you seem to have a bunch of Kanto starters and pokemon," she rambled.

"Yup."

"So… did you fly here from Kanto? Because I feel like that would take _way _more than a few days on the back of a pokemon," Dawn surmised. After all, Sinnoh was ridiculously and stupidly close to the north while Kanto was further to the south. It wasn't a distance covered quickly and easily by flying pokemon.

"I did fly," Ash asserted. Then, as if a lightbulb went off in his head, he added, "I also think we got teleported. I'm not sure. It was a bit of a surreal experience… to be honest, I was in a weird state during that."

Dawn looked at him, acting pseudo-disappointed. "You were on drugs, weren't you?"

"_That's_ the conclusion you come up with?" he grumbled underneath his breath. "I don't need drugs to have a good time."

"Whatever," Dawn dismissed the topic. She got the vague sense that Ash was withholding a vital bit of information from her, but she didn't bother prying further his story despite her own self-interest.

Changing gears, she decided to say, "Does burning down several hundred square feet of forest constitute a _good time_ for you?"

A cute noise emerged from Ash's Pikachu, as if the pokemon was laughing. Ash held up both of his hands as a mock surrender, remembering the events that had occurred after defeating that trainer with the strange hair color. "Hey. At least no real trouble came out of it, alright?"

"That Pokemon Ranger nearly arrested you," Dawn snorted.

"_Nearly_ is the key word here," he pointed out. "But it was that Paul guy's fault!"

Then, a ferocious, nearly animalistic expression contorted his entire expression. "I despise being called weak, and so do the rest of my pokemon."

Dawn was a bit taken aback when Ash all but darkly snarled those words, but his sunny disposition quickly returned and a grin reappeared on his face. "Anyways, there was no problem thanks to Venusaur."

After obliterating a good chunk of Route 202's natural forest and setting on fire the rest that wasn't destroyed by Pikachu's ridiculous Thunderstorm, Paul had taken his pokemon and fled, presumably to heal his pokemon. Immediately, without giving Ash any further chance to boast, they were approached by a Pokemon Ranger and Ash was nearly fined 250k pokedollars for destruction of wildlife and the regional forest. Ash hadn't even spent a full day in Sinnoh and he was already close to three hundred thousand pokedollars in debt, but he managed to avert the situation by releasing a hulking behemoth of a pokemon, his Venusaur.

The pokemon proceeded to restructure and beautify the scorched remains by using a move called Grassy Terrain, so the Pokemon Ranger decided to let them off the hook after a bit of deliberation. Pikachu menacingly conducting electricity in the background of their conversation probably contributed to his decision.

"It's a good thing we were already pretty close to Jubilife," Ash continued. "Venusaur's Grassy Terrain, when she's not mega-evolved, only lasts three hours, forty-seven minutes, and nine seconds."

Dawn gaped at him. She completely ignored the fact that he knew the length of his pokemon's Grassy Terrain down to the second and said disbelievingly, "You're telling me that all of those plants and trees Venusaur pulled up on Route 202 are going to disappear?"

"Yeah, I guess," he replied nonchalantly.

"So you basically lied to that ranger."

"… I wouldn't say _lied_."

"You're ridiculous." Dawn rolled her eyes and took a sip from her water, slightly wondering to herself why she was even remaining in the company of the insufferable brat.

Well, first off, he still owed her a new bike. That was the official reason that the two were still together. And also, though Dawn absolutely hated admitting it even in her mind, Ash's pokemon all seemed to be ridiculously strong; in the heat of battle, Dawn could see Ash's fierce passion for pokemon battling as clear as the full moon in the night.

But something about that troubled Dawn. She wouldn't go so far as to call Ash a sketchy or suspicious character—his antics were more like a harmless teenager making one too many jokes than a person with villainous intent—yet there was definitely something mysterious about him. It was evident, when she was chatting with Ash about themselves on their way to Jubilife, that there were quite a few topics that the boy clammed up about. Dawn wasn't a psychologist or anything, but she thought there was more beneath the surface in regards to Ash.

The trainer understood quite a bit about life's lessons and had practical experience. It was obvious in his albeit somewhat short spiel about resilience. If Dawn stuck with him and he was willing to help train her pokemon… Dawn didn't quite know what the outcome would be, but she figured that it would be better than if she went off alone.

Then again, Ash was pretty much a stranger and his outward personality was jarring. It was exhausting dealing with him, but a tiny part of her admitted that it wasn't _all _bad. When that part of her voice its opinion, Dawn promptly shut it down with all the willpower she could muster.

Dawn sighed. Should she ask Ash to stay with her on the journey? Would it be worth it? Would he even say yes?

She didn't want to leave it up to chance. Her life, her future, it was something that she wanted to control. Something as potentially important as this was not something she wanted decided for her.

…

Dawn glanced quickly at Ash. His free finger affectionately rubbed Pikachu's cheek, and the little pokemon leaned into the trainer's touch. The sharp, rugged quality of his face was softened by a smile, but it wasn't the typical shit-eating grin that often made its appearance. Instead, the smile seemed wistful and, in combination with his downcast crimson eyes, even melancholic.

Idly, Dawn wondered if that was the expression he made when he thought no one was watching.

…

After Ash had paid for their dinner and they left the restaurant, Dawn led him down the crowded streets of Jubilife without any particular direction in mind. While running errands for Professor Rowan, she'd been to Jubilife before and knew the layout of the city fairly well.

"Hm," Ash hummed, roaming his eyes over the people of the city. Then, a bit despairingly, he sighed. "Except for you, Sinnoh girls don't really show a lot of skin. What a shame."

Dawn punched him lightly in the shoulder before thoughtfully replying, "Well, it's getting close to winter, so wouldn't it be natural for people to wear more when the weather got colder?"

Unnoticed by Dawn, Ash's gaze darted towards her legs before meeting her eyes. "Says the one wearing a skirt."

"I'm used to the cold," Dawn said proudly. "I was born and raised in Sinnoh."

"Figured. The cold doesn't get to me like it used to—after I scaled _that _mountain, I could probably walk through a blizzard in shorts and come out fine," Ash boasted, offering a proud smile.

A sarcastic _sure _was all Dawn could offer to Ash in light of his intentional vagueness.

The duo walked along in silence for a bit before Dawn suddenly stopped. Ash paused mid gait and looked at her, puzzled, before realizing that she was staring at an advertisement.

"Hey Ash," Dawn said sweetly, "wanna get me this?" She pointed at an image of a cheerful, gorgeous Coordinator—Lisia from Hoenn—showcasing a brand-new Poketch, a very expensive-looking watch that could sustain multiple applications at once.

Instantly weary, Ash said, "… after you made all that fuss about it, I thought you wanted a bike."

"The Poketch costs less."

"Let's buy it. Screw the bike."

Dawn let a small smile show on her face. Now, all she had to was spring the trap. "Still, you promised me that—"

"_HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~"_

"What the fuck?" Dawn and Ash screeched in perfect harmony, albeit for two different reasons. Ash was startled while Dawn was simply pissed that she'd been interrupted in the middle of activating her trap card. _Well, it could wait_.

From an alleyway, a clown had jumped out of the darkness. The clown's face paint was smeared, as if he just had tears streaking down from his eyes, and the effect served to make the sight even more terrifying. His slightly overweight body was packed into a tight, yellow jumpsuit with red polka dots, and he was slightly huffing due to some sort of strenuous exercise.

"_I… I H-HEARD THAT…_" the clown took a few deep breaths, letting loose a horrid cough into a grimy handkerchief.

Ash frowned, slightly stepping forward to cover Dawn's smaller frame. Meanwhile, the girl had subconsciously grabbed a hold of Ash's sleeve, but luckily, she quickly let go before he noticed. Pikachu, who had noticed her action, merely chirped _chuu! _in amusement.

"_I HEARD THAT YOU WANTED TO BUY A BLOOD RUBY TRIPLE STANDARD 18 GB POKETCH©—_"

"The shouting is unnecessary," Ash tried interjecting.

"_WELL IF THAT'S THE CASE YOU JUST HAVE TO ANSWER THREE RIDDLES FROM THREE DIFFERENT CLOWNS AND YOU'LL GET COUPONS FOR A FREE BLOOD RUBY TRIPLE STANDARD 18 GB POKETCH©!"_

Dawn blinked. _Well, isn't that awfully convenient. But wait—BLOOD RUBY? What does that mean? And how can something be TRIPLE STANDARD? Confusion._

"I heard the word free," the other trainer confessed, "and I am curious."

"_FOR EACH RIDDLE YOU ANSWER YOU CAN GET ONE COUPON AND WHEN YOU GET THREE COUPONS YOU CAN TAKE THEM TO THE POKETCH COMPANY'S HEADQUARTERS NORTHWEST OF THE CITY IN ORDER TO CLAIM YOUR VERY OWN BLOOD RUBY TRIPLE STANDARD 18 GB POKETCH©—"_

"Can you breathe? Or pause at least once when talking?"

Completely ignoring Ash, the clown continued desperately: "_THE FIRST RIDDLE IS WHAT POKEMON WAS FIRST DISCOVERED IN THE UNOVAN DESERT AND WAS BELIEVED TO BE EXTRATERRESTRIAL?"_

_What the hell? _Dawn scratched the hair underneath her beanie as she racked her brain for any relevant information. _With clowns like this and questions like that, who in the world would be able to get a free Poketch?_

"Oh. That's surprisingly easy," Ash grinned. "Elgyem, a pure psychic type and number 605 on the 'dex. Special attack is pretty good, though in other stats it's somewhat lacking…" His voice droned off as he kept on listing random factoids about the pokemon.

A look of blatant shock crossed over the clown's face.

The trainer finally ended his rant. "When it evolves, it gets better, I guess. Can we get that coupon now?"

With shaky hands, the clown opened up the coupon book for the free Poketchs. Even from Dawn's position, she could tell that the coupon book had never been used once, and Ash was the first one to answer the clown's riddle. That fact did not make it by the black-haired boy; Ash just let a smirk cross his face as he turned to look at Dawn.

_See? I _am _a Pokemon Master_, those goading eyes seemed to say.

Dawn crossed her arms. _Nobody cares. _

His eyes furrowed. _Ouch. That hurts my feelings. Waaah, I'm a big arrogant crybaby and Dawn is a hundred times my superior—_

Okay, Dawn had let her imagination run a _bit _wild in Ash's response.

"I see that you have a few more coupons in there," Ash noted, a feral gleam making his eyes shine. "How about you just ask those other two riddles instead of making us find the other clowns?"

The poor thing before Ash broke down into a sweat. "_U-UM… THAT'S NOT HOW THE PROMO IS SUPPOSED TO WORK—"_

Ash inspected his nails. "I see. Out of curiosity, does the Poketch Company offer excellent healthcare for its employees?"

As if on cue, Pikachu let loose a spark of electricity. Even though the pokemon was just letting off some discharge, the pavement around them was scorched black in some places as if lightning had just struck the ground. The other pedestrians started giving them a wide berth after that, and out of embarrassment, Dawn just shrunk further behind Ash's frame.

The clown swallowed heavily and finally spoke in a non-shouting voice. "I guess I can make an exception this one time."

"Fire away," the trainer said. "I like pokemon trivia."

He handed the coupon to Dawn. It was a rather plain-looking piece of hard paper, and it had the words _THREE OF THESE ARE ELIGIBLE FOR ONE BLOOD RUBY TRIPLE STANDARD 18 GB POKETCH© _along with a serial number of some sort.

Taking a deep breath, the clown yelled, "_THE SECOND RIDDLE IS WHAT POKEMON CAN CHANGE TYPES DEPENDING ON ITS HELD ITEM?_

Both Dawn and Ash flinched at the sudden volume of the clown before them, but Ash quickly smiled in amusement. "Well, Silvally's RKS System allows it to change to whatever type its held memory is, so that's one of the pokemon. Another one is hypothesized to be Arceus… a popular theory is that Arceus can change its type based on various plates scattered throughout the world, while another theory argues that Arceus is every pokemon type in existence all at once. Either way, the answer to your riddle is one of them, but I'm going to guess Silvally is the correct one."

Absolutely dumbfounded, the clown reopened his coupon book. Victorious, Ash snatched away the coupon that was offered to him. "Last one, buddy. Make it hard."

"_THE FINAL RIDDLE IS: WHAT IS THE VICTORY POKEMON?"_

"… that's it?" Ash asked, sorely disappointed. "You're really running on fumes now, aren't you? Granted, the first riddle you asked was of interest and the second one was passible. But this one isn't even challenging—it's Victini, by the way—hell, I mean, even non-pokemon trainers could answer that question easily. They literally named Victini _after _"victory". This is practically a waste of—"

"Ash." Dawn grabbed the trainer's shoulders, mentally making a note to never debate with Ash on pokemon information. "We got the last coupon, so let's just go redeem it."

Ash huffed. He held out his hand and received the third and final coupon. Dawn noticed that half of the clown's makeup had been eroded by the waterfall of sweat pouring down the side of his face and cringed internally.

"_C-CONGRATULATIONS ON BECOMING THE FIRST TO WIN ALL THREE COUPONS_—"

"It's really not hard," Ash interrupted. "Anybody who wasn't scared away by having a clown leap out at them from an alleyway would probably have failed after hearing the first riddle about Elgyem. Y'all should really work on a more effective strategy if you're trying to promote positive attention to the Poketch. Having such a strange method would only create negativity."

His hands naturally found Pikachu's ears where he gently scratched his pokemon. "I feel like dressing up as Pikachus instead of clowns would be a lot better in appealing to the crowd in general. Next time, maybe you should try to possibly learn how to pause in the middle of speaking and speak at a normal volume."

With all three coupons handed over to Dawn, Ash spun on his heel and promptly left.

"Sorry 'bout him," Dawn muttered quickly, feeling a bit bad for the obviously shellshocked clown, before quickly following Ash's path.

When she finally caught up to him, Dawn bumped her shoulder into his arm. "You were awfully critical back there."

"There was a problem with the way they were approaching things," Ash said, "and I just pointed that out. It's important, as a trainer, to be able to assess problems and fix them. _Especially_ during battles. Anything that is too problematic—"

"Jeez, you're in a preachy mood, aren't you?"

"I find it enjoyable to show off my wealth of pokemon knowledge." The trainer gave her a critical look. "Perhaps it would be wise for those that don't know as much to listen when I'm in a 'preachy mood.'"

"_Hai, hai_, sensei," Dawn murmured.

While it was true that Dawn was interested in what Ash had to say about training, she had to force herself to stop Ash before he went off on any long tangents. If he truly started expressing his vast experience with pokemon, Dawn's preconception of him being a fairly perverted idiot would be shattered quite quickly. The more she was able to pin down Ash's personality, the more at ease Dawn felt, and if she had to force herself to flanderize him, then so be it. The seedlings of something very irrational was taking root in her heart, and Dawn was trying her very hardest to not water it.

"Oi, listen to me when I'm talking."

Dawn's attention snapped back to the present moment. "What were you saying?"

"I was asking if we could go to the Pokemon Center," Ash said. "I think it's a bit too late to go redeem the coupon, so we could probably find a room there and I'll also be able to retrieve some pokemon."

As if she was struck by a bolt of lightning, Dawn instantly stopped walking and remained rooted to the spot. She had completely neglected the pressing issue of sleeping arrangements. As she looked at the sky, Dawn noticed that the moon was already staring right back at her.

Ash nonchalantly stared at Dawn from over his shoulder. "Don't worry, I can get two separate rooms." Then, with _that_ grin appearing on his face, he amended, "Or, Dawn, would you prefer staying together in a single room? I would offer to sleep in the same bed, but even _I'm_ not sure if I'm ready for that level of commitment—"

"Same room, separate beds," Dawn cut in. "Can't have you running away on me when you still owe me, you know."

"Tch. I'd like to think that I'm honorable enough to stay 'till I repay my debts," Ash said. "Though I'm surprised you're willing to put up with me for the night."

She replied, "It's more convenient than camping out in the woods." To her, the words sounded like a pitiful excuse, but luckily Ash just took her statement at face value and didn't pry into it.

Their conversation disintegrated into idle chit-chat, and the duo continued to wind their way through the city's streets, finally arriving at their destination after a few minutes. A modern, sleek Pokemon Center towered over them, but Ash and Dawn paid no attention to the aesthetics of the building as they strode right through the automatic doors.

Dawn watched with a bit of curiosity as Ash approached the PC. After inputting his personal information and showing the PC his trainer ID, Pokedex, and fingerprint, Ash was ultimately able to retrieve five pokeballs. Three of the pokeballs were yellow and black instead of the usual red, and Dawn was able to recognize the pristine, white color of the other two Premier Balls. He minimized the five pokeballs and clipped them to the left side of his belt, opposite to the five red pokeballs housing his Kanto team.

Finally finished, Ash lead Dawn towards the front desk to rent a room.

"Those were some pretty serious security clearances," Dawn noted as they waited in line.

Ash nodded. "Well, I guess they're necessary. When you start catching pokemon and storing them in the PC, you'll probably begin to appreciate that they're there. Theft directly through the PC system is rare, but it's happened before."

Now that Ash's belt was full of pokeballs, Dawn began to see his habit of drumming his fingers along the surfaces of the pokeballs. It was almost like he was constantly checking to make sure that they were still there and clipped to his belt.

In a mundane series of events, Ash was able to secure a room for the two of them. Even though Dawn inquired about the fee, Ash refused to let her pay a single cent. Right as he unlocked the door for her, Dawn leapt onto the nearest bed and melted into the surprisingly soft sheets, letting out a cute sigh of relief.

Ash laughed. "At least shower first."

"As if," Dawn huffed. "I don't want to run the risk of someone peeping in on me when I'm naked."

"They invented locks for a reason," was the simple reply. Ash deftly went around the room, preparing the beds for sleep and opening the windows in order to let fresh air circulate through the room. It looked like he had repeated these actions thousands of times, and Dawn dimly wondered just how long this boy had been traveling throughout the world. "Though," he added with a smirk, "I learned how to lockpick doors a _looong_ time ago, and these Pokemon Center doors could hardly present a challenge to me."

"… all of a sudden, I don't feel very safe."

"Your mistake was feeling safe in the presence of a stranger in the first place," Ash pointed out.

Catching his eyes, Dawn shook her head smoothly. With a sincere smile, she said, "You're not a stranger. You're a friend."

For the briefest of moments, a surprised expression crossed Ash's face. The mere sight of the trainer caught off guard made euphoric fire explode through Dawn's body. For her, it was like she had obtained the ultimate victory, and Dawn recorded the image before her deep into the recesses of her memory.

"An infuriating idiot and an arrogant asshole, yes, but by this point, a friend nonetheless," she finished.

Dawn instantly leapt into the bathroom to save herself from the inevitable verbal counterattack, shutting the door and locking it behind her. A pleasant laugh came from the other side of the door.

"Then I'll consider you a friend, too."

Still leaning against the door, Dawn looked up at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was as red as the roof of the Pokemon Center, and it felt burning hot.

_Oh maaaaan_. Dawn wondered that, if she managed to get Ash to travel with her, would every single day be as crazy as this one? She felt physically exhausted from the walking and mentally exhausted from dealing with Ash.

But, even then… perhaps it wouldn't be that bad.

* * *

**Ohhhh, who could be the Kalos trainer that Ash once traveled with?  
**

**Well, here Dawn ultimately makes the decision to want to travel with Ash. She's still using the bike as an excuse, though. Just a fair warning, though: her path as a pokemon trainer might diverge from canon. Ash, on the other hand, has another five unnamed pokemon. Try to guess which ones they are :)**

**Thanks for reading! If you liked it, be sure to favorite and follow. See ya next time when I update NVE again or UDotE.  
**


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